Interrupting the Spiral: How to Calm Overthinking and Rebuild Self-Trust

Dr Liz White
3 days ago
4 min read

If you've ever found yourself lying in bed at 3am, wide awake as your mind races through worst-case scenarios and endless “what ifs,” you are not the only one. Overthinking can feel like an unstoppable chain reaction, surging from zero to a hundred before you even realise what's happening.

In this blog I am going to outline the roots of overthinking, the role our nervous systems play, and describe some effective strategies for interrupting those exhausting mental spirals.

Overthinking: An Attempt to Avoid Feeling

Overthinking often serves as a buffer against intense or uncomfortable emotions. Instead of experiencing feelings like anxiety, shame, or guilt directly, many people automatically shift into ‘analysis’ or ‘thinking’ mode. Intellectualising, ruminating, worrying - can all be ways to shut off from our emotions. Over time, this mental escape becomes a habitual way to dodge the messy, unpredictable nature of emotions.

We can experience difficult feelings as overwhelming and even "dangerous," especially if they’ve been avoided for years. In contrast, thinking can feel more controllable and familiar. The brain learns to rely on overthinking as a protection - not from outside threats, but from our own emotions.

The problem? Each time you shift away from feelings and into your head, your self-trust subtly erodes. You send yourself the message, “I can’t handle this,” which only reinforces the pattern of escaping into overthinking.

The Illusion of Control

Beyond emotion avoidance, overthinking is often a misguided attempt to seek control in an uncertain world. Many overthinkers believe that if they can anticipate every possible outcome, plan for every scenario, or rehearse conversations endlessly, they'll somehow prevent things from going wrong.

This isn’t about being controlling; it’s about wanting and needing safety and predictability. The brain starts to treat overthinking as the primary way to stay prepared. But of course, life’s uncertainties can never be fully managed by mental rehearsal, leaving us locked in a stressful loop.

The Body’s Role: Your Nervous System and the Threat Response

What doesn’t get talked about enough is the role our nervous systems play in overthinking. When your “threat system” (the sympathetic nervous system or ‘fight or flight’ response) senses anything potentially risky or new - a shift in tone, an unusual physical sensation, even a vague sense of uncertainty - it leaps into action, often before your conscious mind is aware.

Your muscles tense, your breathing changes, your attention narrows. Overthinking is simply the mind’s way of catching up with what the body has already initiated. This is why logical reasoning rarely helps in the heat of a spiral: the body is already primed for danger, regardless of what your thoughts are telling you.

How To Reduce Overthinking

Body First, Then the Mind

Given how the nervous systems operates in overthinking, it follows that the way to reduce overthinking is to start with the body, not the mind. Before trying to rationalise your way out of a spiral, settle your nervous system:

- Slow your breathing

- Try grounding exercises (focus on what you see, hear, or feel around you). Try this one as a starting point.

- Orient yourself to the present moment and your physical environment

These tools calm the internal alarm, creating a foundation from which you can observe your thoughts more objectively.

Step back from your thoughts

Once calmer, you can name what’s happening (“I’m spiralling right now”), using defusion techniques to step back from your thoughts. The goal isn’t to suppress or distract, but to change your relationship with overthinking - giving thoughts less power over you and your actions.

Rebuilding Self-Trust Through Fully Experiencing Emotions

The final step, and perhaps the hardest for many, is learning to allow uncomfortable feelings instead of escaping into thoughts. This means staying present with emotions like anxiety or shame, noticing them rise and fall, and gently supporting yourself through the discomfort. Each time you do this, you signal to yourself, “I can handle this,” slowly rebuilding the self-trust lost to avoidance.

The Takeaway: Patterns Can Be Unlearned

Overthinking is a learned, automatic response - but just as the mind learned to spiral, it can learn to trust, feel, and stay present. With compassion, practice, and the right tools, you can break the overthinking cycle and reclaim a calm, more connected life.